What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why is Bollywood failing?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why does my dog keep licking at her privates now? She is 7 years old and has barely started licking there. The vet said she’s fine but she keeps doing that.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How does mouth taping affect dreams?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Do Flat Earthers exist today? If so, where do they live?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

TEXT:

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What are the consequences of sleeping with a married woman?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority